This is a transcript of the original video available on YouTube: 6th Monthly Q&A Session – May 20th, 2022
DGL: “If you could go back in time with all the experience you have gathered with your Western mind about Asian Buddhist culture and practice, would you do anything differently? What would you avoid to make the best use of your life?”
JTP: That’s a kind of curious question. I thought about it, but I think everything happens in accordance with our past karma, so I can’t imagine my life happening any other way than as it did. I certainly would not want to redesign the path in accordance with my own lack of wisdom and my self-cherishing mind to make the path comfortable according to my ideas.
During the 18 years I spent in Lahaul, India, I was completely immersed in the traditional Tibetan way of doing things and I was extremely happy. It was a very fulfilling time of my life and I certainly wouldn’t want to change that in any way.
When I look back in my life, it seems one bit leads into the next leads into the next. I often feel like I’m riding in a boat that is just sailing itself. I’m not in charge of it; it just goes where it’s going to go. I just lean back and watch the view. So I can’t really think of anything that I would wish to change. Things happen how they happen and now here we are.
DGL: “There is a great ocean of teachers and Dharma teachings. Apart from continuing to do whatever practice one is doing with determination and faith, is there a way to overcome the obstacle of getting lost with so many options? Or should we keep in mind the story of Asanga awaiting Maitreya?”
Could you perhaps start with sharing the story of Asanga and Maitreya which the question references?
JTP: Asanga was meditating on Maitreya Buddha. He meditated for six years and he didn’t get so much as a good vision or any good experience, so he left. Then he saw someone doing something really mundane, like chipping away at a big boulder in order to get more light into their house. Asanga thought: Well, if they spend so much effort on such a totally meaningless thing, then what to speak of me doing something really important, practising to realise Maitreya Buddha.
So Asanga goes back and practises for another three years. Again, nothing happens so he leaves. This time, he sees someone filing down a big piece of metal in order to make a needle. All these things he sees are very obvious examples of futility and the amount of effort we put into utterly useless occupations, instead of putting a little bit of effort into what really matters.
After seeing this person, Asanga goes back to practise again. In total, he spent 12 years in retreat. Again, nothing happens. He’s just so discouraged, so he goes out and says, “I give up.”
He wanders along and sees this old bitch, this old dog, lying on the side of the road. Her stomach is all open and there are all these maggots eating her. He just feels so, so sorry for her; such compassion arises. But he thinks:
Well, if I lean down and I take the maggots with my fingers, I might squash and hurt a maggot. I must be very careful. So what I’ll do is I’ll lick the maggots off with my tongue.
He knelt down, closed his eyes, stuck out his tongue and leaned further and further, until finally his tongue hit the earth.
Then he looked up and there was Maitreya. Asanga said, “So, what kept you so long? I’ve been doing all this practice and where were you?”
Maitreya said, “Actually, from the very beginning I was always with you, but because of your obscurations, you couldn’t see me. Through your practice you cleared away almost all your obscurations, but there was just a little bit left such that when you saw me, you saw me as a maggoty old dog. But because of your great compassion, you have cleared away all the obscurations, so now you can see me as I really am.”
Asanga looked a bit dubious and said, “Hmm, yeah, well, maybe.”
Maitreya responded, “Well, if you don’t believe me, put me on your shoulder and go into town and ask people what they see.”
So Asanga put Maitreya on his shoulder, carried him into town and asked everybody, “What do I have on my shoulder?”
Everybody said, “You don’t have anything on your shoulder.” Then, eventually he meets one old woman who is very pious and has very few obscurations. She said, “You have a mangy old dog on your shoulder. What for?”
So then Asanga believes that Maitreya is who he says he is.
In other words, it’s always with us, but because of our obscurations, we don’t see. Not just Maitreya, but the Nature of the Mind. The Nature of the Mind, our inherent Buddha Nature, is always with us. But we can’t see it; that’s our problem. This is why we need to do all these practices in order to purify our vision so that we have pure vision instead of impure vision.
In answering these other questions, honestly and truthfully I would say it depends on our life circumstances. But it’s obviously good to build a strong spiritual foundation in this very lifetime and do the very best we can. So what do we need to do? We need to make the mind calm, clear and insightful. We need to gain more inner wisdom, and also to cultivate, of course, more kindness and compassion. This is what finally cleared away the obscurations from Asanga — his tremendous overwhelming compassion — not only for the mangy dog, but also for the maggots.
We must have more kindness and compassion towards others, but also towards ourselves. The Buddha said we start with giving loving kindness and compassion to ourselves, our poor little egos, which need to be healed in order to be seen through. We have to have healthy ego to walk the path towards non-ego. That’s really very important.
Especially nowadays, there are a thousand different practices, and every teacher proclaims their practice is the supreme, which can be very confusing. So I think for most of us who have very busy and complicated lives already, it is good to keep our daily practice very simple and practical.
Then, sometimes if we have more time, we can do other practices. Maybe over the weekend or for a week or a month or whatever, we can do another practice specifically. But in general, day by day, we should have a very basic, simple practice that we just keep continuing and try to integrate with our daily life as much as possible.
We start our formal practice with Refuge and Bodhichitta, then maybe some Shamatha, maybe some Metta (Loving Kindness) Meditation, or some kind of simple visualisation (Tara or Chenrezig or whatever we feel connected with). Then, in the rest of our day, we should especially practise becoming more conscious, aware, mindful and open-hearted as much as possible. We should use our day for cultivating the Paramitas like our Generosity, Patience and so forth.
Then at the end of the day, we can do Open Awareness practice or some other basic Shamatha. If we know dream yoga, then dream yoga is good. At least we should try to recognise our dreams as dreams when we’re dreaming. That’s always useful because it helps us to recognise our daily life as a dream too.
My feeling is that you should design your own program but stick to it, rather than doing a bit of this and a bit of that, digging shallow holes. We should keep digging our main hole and just keep digging down until we get to the underground source of the water and then it will spring up, just like it did for Asanga.
DGL: “Why is it that sometimes when we meet Rinpoches or old serious practitioners, we lose sense of our body and the mind gets very expanded and clear?”
JTP: Well, that’s excellent. Good. It’s because really experienced practitioners themselves are in a natural state of pure awareness. They’re in a state of pure consciousness and so their minds are very open and spacious, without dualistic grasping. Therefore, when we are in their presence, if we’re open to them we receive their blessing. That’s the whole point.
Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche said it was like a corridor with two doors: the Lama’s door is always open, but whether or not our door is open depends on us. We open our door through our open heart, devotion and just being present. If we meet a great master, we should stop the chattering in our mind and just try to be present. Then the blessing is definitely there. The whole time the sun is shining; whether we open or close the curtains is up to us.
Keeping an open heart and a clear mind is especially important when you’re in the presence of great masters. It doesn’t matter if you’re sitting in front of them or whether you’re in a crowd of several hundred. That’s irrelevant; the sun is shining, and what’s most important is that we open to the sun.
DGL: I’d like to follow up on this one. The story of Asanga points to how a lot of people put so much effort in things that can be very mundane, and if they channelled that enthusiasm and ability to be disciplined into the Dharma, they would probably get enlightened very quickly. Traditionally, when we lack conviction to practise the Dharma, we’re taught to meditate on The Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind. But they might feel a little bit heavy and not resonate with the modern practitioner. Do you have any suggestions about what to contemplate on when we lack enthusiasm? When we’re eager enough to train for running a marathon but not to practise the Dharma, what should we do?
JTP: It’s a real problem, and many, many people face this. I think we should reflect on how much better we would feel if we had a regular practice, even if it was short. As the Buddha said:
Let the wise man tame his mind,
A well-tamed mind brings happiness.
We should recognise that most of our troubles come from our ill-tamed minds; then we should encourage ourselves to try our best to deal with our very unstable monkey mind because it brings a lot of trouble to ourselves and others. Although The Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind can be helpful to bring the mind to the path, the point is that in the end, we want to be happy and don’t want to suffer, and the happiest mind is a well-tamed mind. Only we can tame our minds; no one else can tame it for us.
Like any other skill, if we don’t put a bit of effort into it, we’re not going to master that skill. The mind is extremely tricky, but even just a little bit of practice makes us feel that much better, and we experience a certain satisfaction that at least we sat down and did it. Not three-hour marathons, but at least 10 or 20 minutes; you can manage that in a day, come on.
Gradually we see that: Actually, yeah, we can do this. It’s not so impossible; we can do it. Like with anything you make an effort to accomplish, you also feel that inner satisfaction that you’ve done something worthwhile during the day.
So like that — bit by bit, step by step.
DGL: Would you say that rejoicing in our own practice is a component of cultivating enthusiasm?
JTP: Oh yes. I mean, the Buddha himself said we first give friendliness and loving kindness to ourselves, then compassion, and then we rejoice.
We rejoice. I mean, “Sympathetic Joy,” a common English translation of the Sanskrit word Mudita, sounds kind of sad somehow… sympathetic sounds like you’re pitying somebody. But Mudita means to rejoice in the goodness; we don’t just think of all the things we’ve done wrong, but we also think of the things which we’ve done right. We think of all the good things we’ve done, whether they’ve been easy or difficult. We encourage ourselves, just as we would encourage another by telling ourselves, “Well done.” We point out when others do something good, saying, “Well done.” We can recognise that we do have the possibility to transform and tame the mind. Yes, we can. Otherwise, the Buddha would not have told us to do so.
DGL: “If you had the opportunity to ask the Buddha a question, what would you ask him?”
JTP: I thought about this question, and actually and truthfully, since the Buddha always emphasised and believed in the Four-fold Sangha (of monastics and lay, male and female) I would ask him, did he really object to women joining the monastic order? Or was this just a later prejudice put in by the monks?
In regards to women joining the monastic order, as it appears in the texts at least, the Buddha said, “The Dharma now will never last; it’s like putting the bad apple in the barrel of good apples.” I mean, I can’t believe the Buddha would ever have been so misogynist. If he was, then he wasn’t a Buddha.
DGL: Could you please expand a bit on how this story is traditionally presented and how Ananda was involved?
JTP: After the Buddha’s Enlightenment, a lot of young men from his Sakhya clan left the home life and became monks, so a lot of women were left basically as widows. The Buddha’s father also died, so the Buddha’s stepmother, Mahaprajapati, also became a widow. So she decided along with her 500 court ladies that they wanted to become nuns. This was in the very early years, about six years after the Buddha had started the Sangha of ordained monks. They made this request to the Buddha and he said, “Don’t even talk about it,” and off he went.
The court ladies walked after him barefoot; they were very tired and crying outside. Ananda, the Buddha’s cousin and nephew of Mahaprajapati, went up to her and asked, “What is it?” She said, “Well, we all want to leave the household life and be nuns, but the Buddha says no.”
So then Ananda went to the Buddha and said, “Look, your stepmother is out there crying with all these ladies. They’ve walked for hundreds of miles because they really want to be nuns. Now, they’re completely exhausted. Why can’t they be nuns?”
According to the traditional texts, the Buddha said, “No, no, no.”
Eventually Ananda said, “Well, are women not capable of attaining the goal of the path, Nirvana?”
The Buddha replied, “Well, of course they are.”
Ananda said, “So why are you creating this obstacle by not allowing them to go forth?”
So then the Buddha said, “All right, Ananda, all right, okay, we’ll do it. But as a result of this, the Dharma will only last for 1,000 years. And it’s like a bad apple put in a basket full of good apples.” Blah, blah, blah.
So then the Buddha called Mahaprajapati and he said, “Ehi Bhikhuni.” Then he told the monks to ordain all the other women as nuns.
Now, this is the official story. Therefore, it’s always been regarded that nuns were not wanted and that they created a big obstacle, which, as we can see historically, is totally ridiculous. Because for one thing, we’re 2,500 years down the road. If the Buddha said it was only going to last 1,000 years, he didn’t have much foresight.
Secondly, I think the reason the Buddha might have been hesitant is because in those days there were no monasteries and he didn’t know where he was going to put these women. Everybody was living out in the forest under trees, which was okay for the boys, but wasn’t a good idea for the women. Also, these were court women, not village women; they weren’t used to a rough life, begging for their food and so forth.
So I think the Buddha saw the situation rather like St. Francis of Assisi when Clare came to him and said, “Okay, I’m going to be a nun. I’ve left home.” He didn’t know what to do with her! I mean, yeah, he’s St. Francis of Assisi, and all his friars could wander around, but you can’t have women wandering around.
There’s a sutra that’s important to remember from the end of the Buddha’s life. Mara, who represents all forces opposed to Enlightenment, came to the Buddha and said:
Okay, Buddha, do you remember when you just had been Enlightened under the tree? I came to you and said, ‘Okay, now you’ve attained your goal. You can leave.’ And you said to me, ‘Oh no, Mara, I cannot leave until my Four-fold Sangha is firmly established.’ [The Four-fold Sangha is male and female monastics and male and female lay practitioners.] Now your Four-fold Sangha is well-established, so you can go.
Then the Buddha said, “Yes, it’s okay. I’m going, I’m going.” Some time after that, he entered Mahaparinirvana.
The point was that right from the start, he had the idea of a Four-fold Sangha. It wasn’t something he came up with later, so it’s not possible that he could have been opposed to female monastics, who are a part of the Four-fold Sangha. He described the Four-fold Sangha as being like a table with four legs, very stable. He said that the Four-fold Sangha — everybody, not just monastics, but lay people also — should study, practise and propagate the Dharma.
He said when that Four-fold Sangha is very strong, then the Dharma is secure, and where that occurs is a genuine Buddhist country, a central land where the Dharma has flourished. Conversely, he said if you don’t have that Four-fold Sangha, it’s not a Buddhist country.
All those opposed to the female higher ordination, like the Tibetans, for a good example, only have a three and a half legged table, which sounds to me quite unstable. So yes, if I saw the Buddha face-to-face, I’d say, “Oh Bhagavan, is it really true that you were opposed to the ordination of women?” And he would say, “No, no, no, m’dear, that’s all propaganda put out by the monks.”
DGL: Yes, I think so too, and I would just like to share this image of Mahaprajapati, so that people can see and know about her.
JTP: Yes, she was a very powerful lady. Wendy Garling has written a wonderful biography of her, which illustrates how utterly extraordinary she was. Yet nobody’s ever even heard of her. I mean, the Tibetans don’t know about her at all.
DGL: We really join you in prayer, Jetsunma-la, that the Four-fold Sangha in this world flourishes and gets thoroughly established. Definitely we need to make it happen.
JTP: Absolutely. It is happening now. In modern times, the laity are now so well educated; they can read all the books, attend all the lectures and understand. Now they themselves, both male and female, are becoming the scholars, writing the books and becoming the teachers. Often they know more about the Dharma than the monks do, and have done a lot more practice. So now that side of the Sangha is really coming up.
Now the side which needs to really be encouraged and stabilised is that of the nuns; they also need to take their place so that the table has four equal legs and is very stable.
DGL: Thank you so much, Jetsunma-la, for reminding all of us about the importance of the Four-fold Sangha and for always being at the forefront of the commitment for equality and fair treatment of all monastics, both men and women.
JTP: Yeah, and for lay people too, because now the laity are not just supporting the Sangha; they are also studying, practising and propagating the Dharma in the way that the Buddha himself envisioned. This is a very unique time in many ways, and we should be careful with it. This has never really happened before in a Buddhist country.
DGL: “Do you think that Bon traditions mixing in with Tibetan Buddhism, for example, can obscure the core teachings given by the Buddha? How can one strip away the cultural aspects of Buddhism to get to the essence of the teachings?”
JTP: I think that the core teachings of the Buddha are still very clear, even today.
Buddhism is very adaptable to whatever culture it meets. Therefore you have Chinese, Thai, Sri Lankan, Tibetan, Japanese Buddhism and so forth. On the outside, they look very different, but the essence is the same. I always think of it like a vessel; it could be glass, gold, porcelain or copper, maybe even have a different shape, and these all look very different, but the nectar inside is the same. I think it’s very extraordinary that a thousand years after all these different traditions disperse, now when they all come back together, despite the outer differences, the inner Dharma is extraordinarily alike. It’s amazing how they’ve kept the view of the Dharma despite these hundreds and hundreds of years of being separated. They’re all Buddhist.
I wouldn’t worry too much personally. My concern is more that Westerners tend to prune the tree too much. “Getting back to the real Buddhism” can really just mean what is comfortable for us and doesn’t push our buttons too much. We have to be very careful not to distort Buddhism in accordance with our own inner prejudices and throw away too much; it’s better to keep more than to throw away too much.
Offering butter lamps and water bowls is not essential to Buddhism. The Buddha didn’t walk around with water bowls. So yes, these are examples of what feels comfortable for Tibetans. I mean, the way Tibetans do ritual would be totally incomprehensible to Naropa or Tilopa; they had their own way of doing their rituals that was suitable for India, the same way Tibetans, Chinese, Japanese and Thais do what feels comfortable for them.
But at the same time, there is a vast amount of Dharma that everybody agrees upon; we should be careful to keep that and not be too exuberant in throwing away too much too soon. It’s true that we are not trying to become Tibetans or Japanese or Thais. One of the first things my Lama himself said was to always remember that Tibetan Buddhism is half culture and half Dharma. You can throw away the culture; don’t throw away the Dharma. Of course in this case Dharma and culture have become so integrated that it’s very difficult, especially for Tibetans, to see what is just their culture and what is actual genuine Dharma. But if we’re not careful, we tend to throw away anything which doesn’t fit with our view.
I’m currently reading this book by Roger Jackson, Rebirth: A Guide to Mind, Karma, and Cosmos in the Buddhist World, which talks about how keen Westerners are to throw out rebirth, claiming that the Buddha obviously didn’t believe in it because they don’t believe in it. Rather than changing ourselves to fit with the Dharma, we try to change the Dharma to fit with ourselves and our own preconceptions. That’s where we have to be careful; we shouldn’t throw out the bits that don’t feel comfortable just because they don’t feel comfortable. Maybe we should put it aside, and then go back to look at it again later.
DGL: It seems some healthy scepticism is sometimes good, but we tend to go overboard.
JTP: It’s very easy to try to adapt something so that it doesn’t push our boundaries, but sometimes we need our boundaries to be pushed.
DGL: “How does one gain realisations? How does one know whether one has gained some realisation? I assume that gaining realisations is a gradual process.”
JTP: It can be very immediate. Realisation of what? There are many things to be realised. The ultimate realisation is the Nature of the Mind. The problem is that our minds are naturally dualistic; there’s me and everything else that’s not me. What we’re trying to realise is our pure consciousness beyond dualism. This is considered to be not just empty, but also luminous clarity, pure knowing without the knower. That’s what we’ve got to realise!
Occasionally, we can get glimpses quite spontaneously — that is not so difficult. Lamas point out Nature of the Mind and so forth. The problem is to stabilise that realisation; that’s the challenge. You’re looking at all the clouds, the clouds part, you see the sky, and you go, “Ah, sky!” and then immediately the clouds block the sky again.
One of the problems is that the ego grasps the experience immediately and thinks, “Aha, look — I’m almost Enlightened.” Then the ego wants it back again, but the very thing which is obstructing our realisation of the Nature of the Mind is the ego. Therefore we are in this quandary because on the one hand, it’s the ego grasping preventing us from seeing our true nature, but at the same time, if we don’t try, we won’t get to see our true nature.
This is why it’s always a balance; on the one hand, we have to want to see the Nature of the Mind, but on the other hand, who wants to see it? The dualistic conceptual mind wants to see it, which is the very thing obstructing us from seeing it. This is the play, and why even great masters spend years and years in retreat. It’s one thing to get glimpses, but another thing to actually be able to familiarise ourselves with that realisation at all times — that’s what’s gradual. The actual realisation is spontaneously there; what is gradual is the familiarisation. That takes time.
DGL: Would you make a distinction, Jetsunma-la, between glimpsing and actually realising, or are both realisations?
JTP: I would say they’re both realisations. I mean, it’s all tokpa, but you have to stabilise it.
Our yogis, our Togdens, for example, have stabilised it such that they are able to see it any moment. They look up and say, “Oh, well, there it is. No problem.” Because for them it is accessible at all times.
Of course, it’s so simple that you could miss it because you’re expecting lights and trumpets. It’s actually the ultimate simplicity of our consciousness. It’s compared to space; we can’t see or grasp space, but nothing would exist if it were not for space. Abiding in this simplicity connects us with our basic consciousness. In Mahamudra, in fact, it’s called ordinary mind, Tamaji Sherpa, but it doesn’t mean ordinary in the conventional sense.
DGL: May we all be able to even glimpse the pure Nature of the Mind.
JTP: In Dzogchen it’s called Rigpa, which in Sanskrit is Vidya. Vidya just means knowing; it’s that knowing aspect of the mind, beyond knower and known, just knowing. That’s why it interconnects us with everything, whereas our ordinary dualistic mind separates us from everything.
DGL: “I have experienced immense benefits from practising Goenka’s Vipassana meditation. Some Buddhist practitioners say that this technique is good, but limited. On the other hand, in the organisation there is only room for Goenka’s words, which has left me feeling a little disappointed and limited. What’s your opinion?”
JTP: Of course, Goenka’s method is really very good and clear. It does bring excellent results for those who continue to practise regularly. Even our nuns here at Dongyu Gatsal Ling Nunnery did a 10-day Goenka retreat for two years in a row. They really liked and benefited from it. But — the big but — is that it is not, of course, the only way. That is the problem with the way Goenka’s approach is being taught nowadays. The Dharma is very inclusive, not narrow and biased. Even in the Mahasatipatthana Sutra of the Pali Canon, the Buddha recommends many different approaches, and the Mindfulness on Sensations (what Goenka 10-day retreats teach) is just one of them.
There are many different ways that the Buddha recommends. So this is the shortcoming with the Goenka approach. I mean, it’s become like a cult. The DGL nuns stopped doing Goenka retreats because they were told they couldn’t practise anything else and this was really the only way. They felt very uncomfortable with that so they said, “No, we don’t want to do it anymore,” even though they enjoyed it when they did it.
To my mind, the crucial point is awareness, not really the object of the awareness. So any method which brings us to a recognition of the non-dual, pure awareness behind our conceptual mind is a good path. So if at a certain point in the Goenka system they drop the object, rest in and recognise awareness, it’s a totally valid path. Being aware of awareness, not the object of awareness, is what’s so crucial. If they do that, it’s a totally valid path. But it’s not the only path.
DGL: Fair enough, Jetsunma-la. That’s really a very good way of analysing that. I do agree that the practice is very nice, but a little bit narrow.
JTP: Well, it’s become narrow; it wasn’t in the beginning. I mean, I had a friend who had done many, many Goenka retreats, but then she was also doing Shamatha — Shamatha, for goodness sake! — and they rejected her application to do another course because she was now doing Shamatha. They would reject the Buddha himself. I mean, at that point, it’s no longer Buddhadharma. It’s Goenka Dharma, and that’s not the same thing.
DGL: “How do I stay grounded in the present moment when it feels unbearable?”
JTP: Well, it seems to me what is unbearable is our resistance to the present moment. The present just is, and then either we accept or reject it. That is what causes the suffering.
The Buddha taught there are two sufferings: there’s physical suffering and there’s mental suffering. Physical suffering is unavoidable. We are all going to get sick from time to time. We have a physical body so we’ll inevitably have problems with it. But the mental suffering which goes along with the physical suffering is optional; we don’t have to experience this suffering.
I mean, those lamas who were in prison for 20 or 30 years in hard labour camps where they were interrogated, beaten and tortured, even at the end of that they emerged radiant, full of love and compassion. People like this really exist. They were just radiating love and they were grateful for the difficulties because they really taught them how to practise.
Even the most unbelievably, apparently unbearable circumstances are transformed by our response to those circumstances. It’s not the circumstances; it’s how we respond. So I would say relax into the present moment and just be aware, without any judgment and with an open heart which accepts whatever is. It all comes from within us; it’s not out there. We blame external circumstances and problems, but really, our happiness or unhappiness depends on the mind. So be with the present moment, just as it is, and don’t think this is a good moment or a bad moment. It just is.
DGL: Brilliant, Jetsunma-la. This relates to another couple of questions so I’ll read both of them in case you have anything to add:
“How do we deal with an ill body which is failing?”
“I have difficulty motivating myself to practise when I’m sick. How will I do my formal practice on my deathbed when I’ll probably be racked with pain and suffering?”
JTP: My feeling is we have to accept old age, sickness and death. I mean, they’re common to all living beings. We have to accept that sometimes we get sick. You know, what can you hope for?
Even if we have a failing body, if we have a clear mind, we can still practise. It’s good to practise Tonglen, taking in pain and giving out relief. Even if we’re lying down, that doesn’t matter. We can read, or we can listen to audio books if we can’t read. We can pray for the world and all the beings who are suffering as we are suffering at this moment: “May all beings be well and happy.” We can give compassion to our body as well as to the body of others. We can reach out to our families, friends, attendants, nurses and anyone who comes to see us, wishing deeply that they be well and happy.
Everybody you see has problems. Everybody everywhere has difficulties that they’re dealing with, not just you, so extend compassion all around. Stop being self-centred and thinking: Poor me. You can do a lot even while you’re sick. You should extend your love and compassion to all the beings you see, knowing that everybody has problems, not just you.
To this person who’s worrying about what’s going to happen at death if they don’t make any efforts now: I would say that unless they make some effort to rally themselves during a minor sickness, it’s unlikely that they will actually manage when they are seriously ill and near death.
We should not always be making excuses. I’m talking to myself. That is just laziness, right? Even if we can’t do a long, formal practice, we can do short practices. We can do a little short Shamatha or Tonglen or Awareness practice, which we can do lying down or anywhere. Send loving kindness. Make a commitment.
Make a commitment to do a simple practice for say 5, 10 or 20 minutes every day. Make that commitment. Think if you were actually dying right now, what would you want to do? We’re coming up into the new year now, so it is a very good time to make commitments. I mean, I know we break them the next day, but nonetheless, make that simple resolution — not a huge, great, big resolution that we’re not going to keep — but a simple resolution that we can keep. For example, we could commit to sit and do some Shamatha or Metta for five minutes every day. Anybody can do 5 or 10 minutes. Come on. Then gradually, as we realise this is really a very nice thing to do with our time, we can extend it.
Especially when we’re sick, this is a wonderful time to do Tonglen; we visualise all that sickness coming into ourselves from all these other beings and all beings be free from sickness. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I mean, just think of it: if all the sickness of all the beings who are suffering as I am came on me and then they were free, wouldn’t that be wonderful? I mean, really, how wonderful that would be if one could do that.
Even the aspiration to be able to do that makes meaning of our sickness such that it ceases to be a suffering and becomes a source of genuine opening of the heart to compassion. We have to be a little bit inventive and stop feeling sorry for ourselves.
DGL: We can also remember Shantideva’s quote that there is nothing whatsoever that doesn’t become easier through habituation, and that by habituating ourselves with small pains, we can then endure big pain. (Felipe to find exact quote)
JTP: Exactly that. All of this is really true, and we have to recognise that whatever situation we are in is our opportunity to practise. We shouldn’t think that the only time we can practise is when we’re in the ideal situation and environment with perfect health, youth and all that. That’s when I’m going to practise and the rest of the time I cannot. That’s simply not true; that really is just laziness. I mean, we give it fancy names, but it’s really just being lazy. Then when the time for death comes, we go, “Oops.” We recognise how we wasted all our time on things which are of no use and neglected to do the one thing which really could have benefited ourselves and others. It’s not even because we don’t know, which most people don’t. But we do know, because we’ve met with the Dharma. So we have no excuse.
DGL: “I understand the importance of not getting hung up on nyam that arise during practice, but can you please explain the role of the nyam in practice, and how can we can begin to stabilise it?”
JTP: In the Tibetan tradition, they talk about nyam and Tokpa. Nyam means all the experiences that we can have arising in meditation and Tokpa means a realisation of the Nature of the Mind. So anything which is not a realisation of the mind is classified as nyam.
Nyam (meditative experiences) could be physical or mental, and they encourage us to trust that something is going on inside. When we have various kinds of strong feelings, whether they be emotional or physical, we know our consciousness is being affected by the practice. We may or may not have any realisation of the Nature of the Mind, but at least our body and our energy system is trying to adjust itself so it will all flow very smoothly on whatever level. That’s why things change.
We can have good nyam like bliss, clarity, visions and clairvoyance. All sorts of things can arise, which can be very reassuring. We might think to ourself: Oh, look, goodness. As long as we don’t cling, wanting that to always happen, then there’s no problem with it. It’s an encouragement, right?
There are also bad, or unpleasant nyam, which we should try not to resist. People hope that they’re going to get bliss, but they might get great upsurges of fear, anger or lust, completely like a volcano. Sometimes the body shakes. Somebody I knew used to hiccup very loudly all the time. But all of this is just passing phenomena. It should be noted, but it shouldn’t be considered anything more than a signpost on the path.
Basically just relax, let whatever happens, whether it’s rainbows or storm clouds. It’s all just happening in the space of the mind. We should just allow it to come and to pass. If it’s nice, we enjoy it and if it’s not nice, we don’t fear it. We allow it and don’t reject it either. We just allow everything to manifest. Then nyam is good. I mean, it’s not a bad thing, but it’s not in itself the point, if you see what I mean.
There’s a story, about some adept practitioner who was sitting in his cave, and one of his disciples started flying backwards and forwards, doing loops in front of him. The master said, “Yes, that’s very nice, I can see you’ve got some nyam. Now keep practising and you’ll get some actual realisation.”
DGL: Very nice, that’s really something. Well, it seems nyam is at the very least a sign that we’re practising.
JTP: Well, it shows that something’s changing inside and something is being activated. The main problem is when people cling to that too much. They might indeed get lots of nyam, but this acts as an obscuration for getting actual genuine realisation. Then they only practise for the highs, like taking drugs, and if they don’t get high, they think nothing’s happening. That can be an obstacle too.
DGL: “What is the purpose of prayers, such as opening prayers that we say every morning, like Refuge and the Four Immeasurables? How do we bring them into daily life to support our practice?”
JTP: Daily prayers like Refuge, the Four Immeasurables, etc., are a means to motivate our minds, to prepare them for the practice we’re about to do and for the day.
I take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, the Sangha. I practice Bodhichitta and the Paramitas, such as Generosity. I will undertake this practice for the welfare of all beings. May all beings be happy and free from suffering.
We’re setting our GPS: we’re going towards the goal of Enlightenment for the sake of all beings. Then we will travel with that aspiration during our daily life. That’s the point. We’re setting where we’re going at the beginning, and then as we drive through our daily life we know we’re on track.
Right? You understand? It motivates us. The Dalai Lama says that every morning he recites the Eight Verses of Mind Training. It’s a reminder; then throughout the day if he faces something difficult, he can bring back to his mind that verse he recited that morning on how to deal skilfully with challenges. He’s motivated himself from the very beginning every day. So this is good.
We get so caught up in our habitual thinking that we forget what we’re trying to do with our day; we do these prayers so we don’t forget. It’s very easy to lose track of our intentions, so we have to make a habit of making those neural pathways full of Refuge, Bodhichitta, loving kindness and compassion.
DGL: “A friend recently died. What can I do to help ease her way through the bardo? I have been reciting Mani mantras, doing Medicine Buddha and practising Tonglen with her in mind. Also, is there a simple Powa practice that an inadequate practitioner such as myself can perform?”
JTP: It seems to me that she was a very fortunate person to have a friend like you reciting the Mani and Medicine Buddha mantras for her. You know, wasn’t she lucky?
Often people also do Amitabha prayers because Amitabha’s Pure Land is the easiest one to go to. Here in the nunnery, we do Akshobhya prayers to go the Buddha of the Eastern direction. Every month on the new moon, the nuns do a special Akshobhya puja specifically for calling in the beings from the bardo and liberating them to Akshobhya’s Pure Land.
Powa (Transference of Consciousness) actually needs to be done either at the time of death or very soon afterwards by a competent practitioner. Otherwise, it probably is a bit late by now. So just recite the mantras. Wish your friend a safe journey. Remind them that everything which they experience is just a projection of their mind.
It’s also a good thing to make merit on their behalf at this time. Here in India we sometimes encourage people to go on pilgrimage, but that might be a bit difficult in your circumstances. But maybe make some kind of donation to their favourite charity, or something like this, and dedicate the merit to them, because in the bardo it’s very important to have as much positive karma as possible to counterbalance anything negative.
Remind them also that anything that they’re experiencing in the bardo is just a projection of the mind; it’s like a dream and they shouldn’t believe in it as being actually real and true.
Really, I think she’s doing wonderfully well for her friend. I hope the friend is very grateful to have someone doing so much practice on their behalf.
DGL: That was another brilliant session, Jetsunma-la. Thank you so much.
Since we are almost at the end of this year — 2022 has gone — may I request you to lead us in a dedication and also to give us some words for the upcoming year?
JTP: We must hope that the coming year will be a good one. We can hope.
I always say — and I really feel it from my heart — that what we must not do is to increase the negativity which is being put out into this world through people’s paranoia, anxiety, anger, despair and depression.
A friend recently sent me the Christmas address of our King Charles. In England, we have a tradition of the sovereign giving a Christmas address every ear. Previously it was always the Queen and for the first time it was the King. It was a beautiful address; I found it very moving. He was paying credit to all the people who keep society in balance: the police, the medical corps, people who look after the homeless, and all other people who do so many good things in the world.
He was evoking all the goodness in the world. He wasn’t talking about all the things which are wrong (all the violence, disruption and difficulties); he was talking about all the people who do so much good for society very selflessly, often without any particular rewards. I thought that was very moving. I think it’s very important to think of all the goodness people do that is not accredited, doesn’t make headlines in the media, and is often overlooked. There is so much goodness in this world, and it’s good to think of it.
There is so much goodness within each one of us — that is what we have to hold to. That is what we have to bring out and use to benefit many beings around the world. Even if it’s not ever recognised or appreciated, it’s there. This is Mudita, rejoicing in all the goodness, beauty, kindness and compassion in the world. Rejoice in that and bring it into the new year.
So may you all be well and happy.
DGL: I would like to really thank you from my heart, Jetsunma-la, for the precious opportunity you’ve given to all of us to ask you questions and receive your wonderful, brilliant answers and guidance.
I’d also like to again express my gratitude to everyone who’s been participating in many ways: in this session, by asking questions, watching the videos and continuing to be curious and interested in the Dharma. I thank you because I think it’s very important in this day and age to have that very sincere spiritual inclination. I really appreciate that from everyone and anyone that’s coming here, so thank you all so much. Until next year, Happy New Year to everyone.
JTP: Happy New Year.
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May All Beings Benefit
Sarva Mangalam