This is a transcript of the original video available on YouTube: 5th Monthly Q&A Session – May 20th, 2022
DGL: “Before, I tried to help anyone and everyone I saw struggling. Now, I try to accept samsara, my own and that of others, so think it’s okay; they’re experiencing the fruits of their past actions and have an opportunity to learn. Is this a correct attitude to adopt?”
JTP: Of course, this is samsara and we are all the owners of our own karma (our own actions from the past), but this doesn’t mean that we give up on our compassion and our wish to try to help wherever we can. I mean, come on, maybe it is that person’s karma, but it might also be that person’s karma to be helped by us. Who are we to say, right?
Certainly we must offer help when it is feasible. If someone’s drowning in the pool, we don’t just let them sink with the thought: Oh well, this must be their karma. Obviously we will try to pull them out, isn’t it? If you have a toothache, you don’t just say, “Well, I’m going to keep a toothache; I shouldn’t go to a dentist because it’s obviously my karma to have toothache.” You go to a dentist who will help you. I’ll quote Shantideva:
As long as space remains,
As long as sentient beings remain
Until then may I too remain
To dispel the miseries of the world.
That sums it up.
DGL: Indeed, and it sounds very different, Jetsunma-la, from other approaches where it seems like there has to be some kind of penance, where we must experience the suffering in order to purify or to get closer to the divine. Your advice seems more practical; if we see somebody suffering, we just do something about it.
JTP: In any spiritual path, there are those who are reaching out to help: doctors, nurses, teachers, social workers, and people who are just kind towards everyone that they meet. Any genuine spiritual tradition will at least teach us to have a good heart.
We don’t have to be eighth-level bodhisattvas. Even if we’re just ordinary people, stuck in samsara like us, nonetheless, we can do what we can to help.
DGL: Thank you, Jetsunma-la. That’s very practical, as always.
“What technique did the Buddha use to reach Enlightenment? Was it Shamatha?”
JTP: Please understand that the Tibetans were the last people in Asia to get the Dharma, so there are many texts which never made their way into Tibet; one of these is the Pali Canon, which was preserved in Sri Lanka when Buddhism died out in India. In the third century BC, Emperor Ashoka sent his son, Prince Mahindra, and his daughter, Princess Sanghamitha, from India to Sri Lanka to share the Buddhadharma with the king and the queen of Sri Lanka. They started the first monastic order in Sri Lanka, including that of the fully ordained nuns under Sanghamitha. When Buddhism was effectively wiped out in India, the Sri Lankans still had all the early texts from the time of Ashoka, and had also exported them to Burma, Thailand and so forth. So that’s why we still have these texts.
I’ll tell the story according to the Pali Canon, which is the oldest set of Dharma texts which we have. While sitting under the Bodhi Tree just before his Enlightenment, the Buddha recalled a memory from childhood which provided inspiration for the final method to use.
He remembered sitting under a tree watching his father, the king, do the ritual ploughing ceremony when he was a young boy. He, the young prince, began to watch his breath while he was sitting under a rose-apple tree, and he entered into what was basically the first Dhyana (Meditative Absorption).
Back under the Bodhi Tree, this memory from childhood arose as guidance and he thought to himself that this was the right method, this was the way to go. Then he entered systematically into the eight Dhyanas that he had learned from previous gurus while searching for the way to become a Buddha. Within that state of concentration, he was able to go through all his past lives. In the second watch of the night, he went through all the lives of all other beings. Because of that, in the third watch of the night, he understood Dependent Origination; he understood the interconnection of all beings and their actions.
At the moment he fully understood the 12 Links of Dependent Origination both backwards and forwards, he said, “I’m a Buddha.” In other words, he realised that he had woken up to the fullness of the Bodhisattva Path and attained Full Enlightenment. In the Pali Canon that’s the story of how the Buddha became Enlightened. Of course, subsequently different people have different versions.
But regardless of the specific method the Buddha used to attain Enlightenment, Shamatha practice is a very important prerequisite and foundation for the path. Like a foundation in a building, it underlies all further construction, all further meditation, because it makes our minds clear, calm and attentive. In Tibetan it’s called lesu rungwa, which literally means workable. Our minds become workable; they’re subtle and flexible. We can use the mind however we want to; wherever we want to place the mind, it will go. We will have very profound and deep attention and concentration, and our mind will blend with whatever practices we do.
The Buddha very much emphasized the prerequisite of Shamatha practice because a steady and clear mind makes it very easy to accomplish all the stages on the path. If we are conscious of the breath, it brings us into the present moment, which is why almost all Buddhist schools start with the breath as an object of our awareness. We can’t breathe in the past or the future; we can only breathe now. If we know the breath as it comes in and goes out, over time it will make our mind very calm, clear and ready for whatever further practice we wish to do.
One Lama said to me that if we have good Shamatha, the rest of the Dharma is in the palm of our hands. This is why it is very important to start by getting our mind into good shape, like our body. If our body is out of condition and flabby, then even the simplest thing becomes a real challenge, but if we get our body into good shape, then we can do any exercises. So, like that.
DGL: Thank you, Jetsunma-la. Could you unpack the term Dhyanas for us? What are Meditative Absorptions about?
JTP: Dhyanas are mental absorptions; as the mind progressively quiets down, all the mental constituents begin to fall away, including joy and bliss, leaving just this open spacious quality of the mind. There are four form absorptions, and then beyond those are four formless absorptions. None of them per se lead to Enlightenment.
The Buddha’s first teacher taught him the four form absorptions. His second teacher taught him the four formless absorptions. With all of these, the mind goes into a very deep, almost trance-like state. There is still knowing and the quality of awareness, but all other mental faculties fall away.
The teachers felt that that was Liberation, but the Buddha realised that we have to come back down from even the most refined of these mental states. They’re impermanent, and therefore cannot be Liberation. The Buddha mastered them all, but knew that Dhyana practice on its own was not the final solution, so he left these teachers and went on. We need the wisdom aspect, it’s not just a matter of going into these very refined mental absorptions.
DGL: Thank you for that clarification, Jetsunma-la. Would it be fair to summarize that while Shamatha is indispensable on the path, it is not the entirety of the path? That it is just one of the elements that we need?
JTP: It’s a very important element and it shouldn’t be shunted aside. It makes our practice very shallow if we don’t have good Shamatha practice, but in and of itself it is not Liberation. It’s the foundation for then building up our wisdom, our insight, our clear seeing into the Nature of the Mind.
DGL: Perhaps it’s also good to mention that we can all do Shamatha on the breath no matter what level we’re at, right?
JTP: Absolutely. It can take you all the way if you do it really with great dedication.
Although at least in the Tibetan tradition, when our attention is very clear and able to settle on the breath without getting lost in all our thoughts and feelings, usually they shift the attention from the breath and turn it back on to the actual flow of the thoughts because the important thing is to understand our mind.
We live in our thoughts, like a fish in water. The fish swims in water, but it doesn’t know what is water. Likewise, we swim in a world of thoughts and feelings, but we don’t know what a thought is. Most of us have never even looked to see the whole thinking process and to recognise that it is constantly flowing moment to moment. The way to develop the capacity to observe the thoughts is first to have a foundation in Shamatha.
DGL: Thank you, Jetsunma-la. I think that clarifies a lot about the practice of Shamatha and how to actually use it on the path.
“In your opinion, what would be the best practice when one has retired, with more time available, but less physical strength and mental focus? Should one purify as much as possible, accumulate merit, go for pilgrimage, or study the sutras and commentaries extensively?”
JTP: Honestly, I think this all depends on your interests and abilities. Some people love to study the Dharma more. They feel they don’t really know enough yet and want to know more. Some prefer meditation and want to get their mind into good shape before they move on to the next incarnation. We must remember that what we take with us is our consciousness and our karma, so it makes sense to put more emphasis on our mind.
But some may feel that they did some naughty things in the past and so need some purification. Many people want to build up their merit bank account for their next life. They do what they can to make as much positive karma as possible: they’re very generous, give to good causes, go on pilgrimage and so forth so that next life should be as free from obstacles as possible.
Many people I know who retired from their professional life thought they might now be able to relax and so forth, but then they took on a lot of voluntary social work and some of them ended up never working so hard in their lives. We can all do whatever feels right to us and we can do a bit of everything. We can study some more. We can read Dharma books. We can practise. We can go on retreats. We can do some social work. We can make merit and so forth. I mean, it’s not either or, it’s everything plus. Whatever feels right for us, let’s do it.
It’s very important also to make lots of prayers of aspiration to be able to meet with the Dharma as soon as possible in our next life and have the opportunities to practise. Most of all, what we need to do before we say bye-bye to this life is to genuinely cultivate a good heart, and try as much as possible to be kind and helpful to others.
DGL: “How can one truly develop compassion if one’s spiritual practice actively removes one from exposure to those with afflictive emotions? For example, going on long retreats or living in a nunnery.”
JTP: First of all, compassion is a very deep state of the heart, and it needs time to really cultivate it, along with the wisdom. Don’t forget the wisdom that is needed to be able to act skilfully under all situations. People may have empathy with the suffering of others, but they don’t really know how to help because they themselves are confused. This is why the Thousand-Armed Chenrezig, The Bodhisattva of Compassion, has an eye in the palm of each hand, because he also has deep insight and wisdom in order to be able to respond appropriately with compassion. The two go together.
Undertaking retreats and living with other Dharma-minded people helps us to develop spiritually in many ways. We breathe in to help ourselves. We breathe out to be a benefit for others. No one’s saying we should ignore helping others until we’re Enlightened. I don’t know where this idea comes from, that first we have to be Enlightened, then we will help sentient beings. Part of the path to Enlightenment is being able to be a benefit for other beings. I mean, the two go together, right? It’s not an either/or, but a both/and.
This is our precious human body when we’ve met with the Dharma. Some people choose to dedicate their whole lives to studying the practices of Dharma, but that also includes cultivating compassion for others. We use the spiritual life. Some people want to spend all their life just practising, but not everybody does. If you don’t want to spend it doing formal practice, you can bring the Dharma into your daily life and cultivate all the qualities of the heart and mind which are needed in order to benefit both others and ourselves.
DGL: I would like to take this opportunity to dispel a couple of myths in the average person’s mind concerning Buddhist monastic life; people seem to think they are pure lands of holy beings where everybody is peaceful. I’d like to break down that stereotype of the peaceful monk that just walks mindfully in every step; there’s also the reality of people being human and also on the path. Could you speak a little bit to that, Jetsunma-la?
JTP: I think you said it. Monks and nuns are also human beings, and until we attain full and total Enlightenment, we are still hosts to all the kleshas (negative emotions). Monks and nuns also feel frustrated. They also sometimes get upset. They’re greedy. They can be jealous. They can have all the qualities. They can be proud. They can also be lovely people, and they’re also trying their best. I’m not puttin’ them down, but they are human beings; the idea that somehow or other, the minute you shave your head and put on robes, you transform into an eighth-level Bodhisattva or an Arhat is a little optimistic. You’re just a human being with a shaved head and wearing maroon robes.
The dedication is there though, it’s true. They’re trying — and we’re all trying. You don’t have to be a monk or a nun to be a genuine Dharma practitioner. It’s true that living in a monastery or nunnery does give a context in which you are together with other people who are likewise trying, and that can be very helpful, and this is why lay people do retreats. But you can get very nasty monks, and you can get very beautiful lay people. You can get very nasty lay people, and you can get very beautiful monks.
The mind itself doesn’t ordain. That has to be trained, and whether we train in a monastic or lay environment, we still are coming up with basically the same problems. In the end, whether or not we can transform our negativities into the positive states just depends on us, no matter what our particular level of ordination might be.
DGL: “I recently read on your website that nuns can choose between sitting or walking meditation in the morning. Could you please tell more about walking meditation? Could you recommend where to find instructions for walking meditation in Tibetan Buddhism?”
JTP: That’s a fair enough question. There is not actually that much about walking meditation in Tibetan Buddhism, as far as I know. They don’t talk about it very much; when they talk about formal meditation, they think of it as a sitting meditation.
However, some years ago, two of our nuns from DGL Nunnery visited Thailand, and that’s where they encountered the practice. They saw that in Thailand (and all Theravadan countries), they usually divide the practice between formal sitting and mindful walking. Our two nuns thought it would be a very good practice for us to include, especially for the younger ones who tend to doze off during our early morning practice; they recognised that instead of fighting the sleepiness, it would be a very good idea to get up and slowly, mindfully walk around the inside of the temple.
It’s actually a very good idea, and the Buddha himself seems to have undertaken this. You get your body moving and it brings the consciousness into the body, which is actually very important. The Buddha himself said you should be mindful of standing, sitting, walking and lying down. When you’re moving, be mindful of your movement. Normally, as we walk down the corridor we’re thinking 10,000 things, but the one thing we’re not thinking about is the movement of the body and the feet.
I’m sure on YouTube there must be good instruction on how to do walking meditation, but the idea is that you walk slowly and put your attention on the soles of the feet. You feel your feet on the ground and also the sensation of them moving. The main point is just to be aware, bringing the attention down into the movement of walking.
This also gets the attention away from the head and back down into the centre of your body, because often when people meditate, they tend to get stuck in their heads. People have gained realisations and Enlightenment doing walking meditation; it’s not a minor practice. It’s also a nice counterbalance to all the sitting, just to get up and move very slowly, and then to sit back down again mindfully. It’s good.
DGL: Do we need to be barefoot in order to do walking meditation, or can we use shoes?
JTP: No, you don’t need to be barefoot. You can wear shoes.
DGL: If we’re doing walking meditation, do we think about what we’re doing, saying to ourselves, “Feeling the soles of the feet, lifting one foot,” etc., or can we just pay attention to the body?
JTP: I think paying attention is better, because one of the whole problems is that we’re thinking, thinking, thinking. So just know — without commenting — as much as possible. Just notice how the whole body shifts its balance. I mean, it’s brilliant the way we walk; the way that the whole spinal system shifts its centre of gravity as we lift up, move forward, go, set our foot down, and then the next foot goes up, forward, and down.
Just know it, notice it. Don’t talk about it, don’t comment on it to ourselves, and don’t chatter to ourselves, just try to let go and be aware. There’s no right or wrong about how to do this. Don’t go too slowly, because otherwise you’ll probably lose balance. The wonder of how we actually walk on this earth is amazing — just know that.
DGL: Jetsunma-la, it seems to me that the common point between these two practices — awareness of the breath and awareness of walking — is to bring the faculties of intentionality and awareness to something that otherwise is very automatic, isn’t it?
JTP: Exactly that. That’s what awareness and mindfulness is trying to do: wake us up to knowing things without always being distracted by other activities, or commenting on the doing, instead of just knowing what you’re doing as you’re doing it.
We can bring this quality of being conscious to any and every activity. It doesn’t have to be walking, it doesn’t have to be breathing, it can be anything, including sitting, standing, lying down, drinking tea, washing, cleaning teeth, combing hair… it doesn’t matter what the activity, either we are aware or we are not aware, there’s no half-half. Mostly we are not aware; we’re lost in our thinking, and not even conscious of what we are doing.
DGL: Yes indeed, I can barely wrap my head around the concept of “just doing”, but I guess it takes practice.
“I’ve been feeling so guilty because I want to end my marriage relationship after 28 years together. I don’t feel any emotional connection with my wife and am not interested in working on it. I actually find myself wanting some loneliness and space for me. Am I wrong?”
JTP: Oh dear, well, I mean, I’m not a marriage counsellor. I can only give my view, this is not Ultimate Truth here, this is just, you know, Tenzin Palmo saying what she thinks. And I’ve never been married, so I mean, why are you asking me?
Anyway, close relationships such as marriage are often a challenge, especially as the years go by and the initial attraction dies down. I cannot possibly advise anybody on whether or not to end a marriage.
There are so many factors to be considered, including the feelings of one’s partner. How do they feel about it? You must also give thought to the financial situation, of course. If you leave your wife, how would she manage? It’s not wrong to want some solitude and space after living together for so many years, but it would also depend on how the parting would affect the other person. Would they manage to cope by themselves? What are their feelings in the matter? Maybe you could compromise by having some time alone and some time together. I don’t know the background of this relationship and I’m not a marriage counsellor, so I don’t know, but those are some thoughts.
If a couple no longer feel compatible, want to part and agree on that, there’s nothing inherently wrong with amicably separating. In fact, in Buddhism, there is no formal marriage ceremony, because marriage is considered to be a social contract and not a sacred bond. So while there are official ceremonies for ordination, there is in fact no marriage ceremony. What happens is a couple agree to live together and create a family. Everybody agrees; they’re given advice on being good and taking care of each other. They usually make offerings to monks who do some chanting and that’s it. There are no formal vows of obedience or lifelong fidelity.
However, nonetheless, most Buddhist couples have as good a record of staying together as anybody else. Just because you haven’t made a vowed commitment doesn’t mean that you’re not committed. Most Buddhist couples stay together, raise their families and look after each other in sickness and in health just the same.
Karmically, there is nothing negative about separating on good terms if one no longer finds the relationship meaningful. You’re not offending anybody in the higher ups. The bodhisattvas are not all going to go, “Tsk tsk tsk.” But it depends on how you do it and the feelings on both sides; that’s the point. It’s not a sacred commitment, but it is a heart commitment. So we have to regard how these things are carried out: how much harm and hurt you could cause to the other, how the children would feel about it, and so forth. There are many questions to be raised.
I don’t know the background behind this specific situation, but all I’m saying is that from a Buddhist point of view, you’re not offending any higher deity. It’s purely between the couple and how they feel; maybe it’s time to go on. In Buddhism, and in Hinduism, often at a certain age the couples part in order to give more attention to their spiritual lives. The husband maybe takes temporary ordination, the wife takes temporary ordination, they split, and then carry on doing their own practices and generating good karma for next life.
DGL: I think that’s very useful, Jetsunma-la. Even though you’re not a marriage counsellor, I think that is very sound and sane advice. I think one of the key points you mentioned is that it needs to be a conversation, isn’t it? If a parting involves somebody else, it shouldn’t be one-sided, right?
JTP: Absolutely.
DGL: “How can I apply loving kindness and compassion to my husband, who is an alcoholic and denies it? I have heard all sorts of commentaries, such as recognising it as an illness, and nothing has really worked.”
What would you advise, Jetsunma-la?
JTP: This is a very tragic and sadly very common situation. Even here in India and in the Himalayas, alcoholism is a big problem, especially for the men. The denial is also very common. “No, I’m just drinking a little, I’m fine, I’m in control of the situation,” they might say, even when clearly, the situation is controlling them.
Again, we are all the owners of our own karma, our actions, and it’s very difficult to change another’s behaviour. Especially when that other person denies that there’s any problem or sees no reason to change. It’s difficult enough to change our own behaviour. How many can do that?
So what to do? If they are in denial, then presumably they will not have any motivation to join anything like AA or any similar group, because the problem is that they don’t see there’s any problem.
Maybe you could reach a compromise. Be tough; for instance, you can say, “All right, I’m not giving you any more meals unless you cut down on your drinking.” Tell them to cut down on drinking to manageable levels. Maybe not total abstinence, but at least cutting down a little bit. “Starvation or drink, you have your choice.” Then see what they do.
Talk together. Have you really discussed this, explaining how his excessive drinking is hurting you, and how him being in denial doesn’t help? Try being honest and bring it all out into the open, and then see how you can go from there.
But I also feel that we have to accept that this is samsara, and we have lessons to learn. Not other people have lessons to learn, we also have lessons to learn, including accepting people and situations as they are, and working on changing our own attitudes. Because sometimes we cannot change others, and then our only option is to change ourselves.
DGL: I’m anticipating a hundred emails coming in after this, so would like to jump in and ask, what you’re saying doesn’t necessarily mean that you put up with somebody’s addiction and stay with them if it’s causing you a lot of harm, right? Accepting it also means taking care of yourself and making the most skilful decision, right?
JTP: Yeah. I mean, she’s not talking about leaving him, so I didn’t bring that in. I was thinking of a number of women I know who live with very heavily alcoholic husbands, including some lamas. The women just say, “Oh well, that’s the way he is.” When his friends carry him home drunk the women put him to bed and let him get over it next day. They don’t make a big thing of it.
I would say that if they are abusive and violent as a result of the alcoholism, then that is a big red light shining: “Watch out”. But if they’re just emotional or stupid or just kind of drink themselves into a stupor, then there’s not much we can do. If they don’t want to change and they’re clearly not going to change, then in that case we would just have to accept that that’s how they’re going to be. Isn’t it sad?
What can we do? You know, we can’t force someone to break these bad habits. If they wish to do it, they can do it, but if they don’t wish to do it, then what are you going to do? Provided they’re not posing any danger; I mean, if they are violent, then that is something else completely different. But if they’re just drunk to the point of being drunk, then what to do?
It’s a big problem everywhere, I assure you, also in the Himalayan regions. Especially before they had television probably, when they didn’t have much to do during the long dark winters, the solution was just to drink. Then, depending on the person’s character, either they just were fairly emotional, or they became violent. Violent is something quite different, to which one really has to say, “Absolutely no.”
DGL: I feel for her because seeing somebody you care about addicted to anything, never mind alcohol, your first aspiration is, “How can I help this person?” But as you say, there’s very little one can do. I mean, it’s very hard already to change oneself, so to change others is almost impossible.
JTP: The fact of the matter is that unless they want to change, it’s not going to happen. If you can motivate them somehow to want to change, perhaps, but if they don’t have the motivation and they’re in denial, then you just have to accept it.
DGL: Well, thank you so much for that, Jetsunma-la. I’m sure that will help a lot of people.
JTP: No, it’s not helpful, but it’s true. It’s hard and painful; a lot of people, especially women, think that their good influence will change the person they marry, but almost invariably it doesn’t. It is what it is, but it is hard.
DGL: “Bad thoughts often arise in my mind. I hate them, and when they come I hate myself, I feel I disrespect my Lama and worry about creating negative karma. I really wish I wouldn’t have them but I can’t stop them. I feel hopeless. What can I do?”
JTP: First of all, just relax, and understand that all thoughts, good or bad, are just like empty bubbles. They’re just the impulses in the brain. They’re not real. They’re not solid. So please, please just learn how to sit back and just observe the thoughts without any judgment, just seeing them as thoughts. That’s all they are. They’re not true, not me, and not mine.
As the Buddha advised, give loving kindness and compassion to yourself. What’s all this, “I hate myself”? Where’s that coming from? That’s worse than the bad thoughts, isn’t it? We give loving kindness and compassion first to ourselves and then outwards towards others. There’s no point in being angry with yourself; that just creates more negative thoughts.
So look at your thoughts nakedly, without judgment. If you want, you can name them, and then release them. Let them go and say, “Bye-bye. Okay, anger thought. Okay, lustful thought. Okay, jealous thought. I’ve seen you. I know you. Bye.”
This reminds me of Mara, who turned up again and again — right before and after the Buddha’s Enlightenment, and right up until his Parinirvana. Mara is the Buddhist equivalent of Satan; he’s the tempter. He’s the one that comes along and says, “Hey look, what are you doing? You’re crazy. Follow me.”
The Buddha would have nice conversations with him actually. But anyway, if Mara turned up, the Buddha would say, “I know you, Mara.” Mara would shudder and say, “He knows me.” Then he would go away, no fight left in him. He was just completely deflated, like a balloon. You prick it with the pin of recognition and it deflates immediately. Mara says, “That’s it. He knows me.” So when a bad thought comes up, you can say, “Anger.” The thought will think, “Oh, she knows me.” Then it will go, I promise you.
The problem only comes when we feed the thoughts. Maybe we secretly like them; some thoughts are quite juicy. They’re not good thoughts, but they are thoughts, so people feed them. We feed our thoughts and get upset: we blame ourselves, get angry, and flagellate ourselves, and that just makes it worse. What started off as a tiny little thought becomes bigger and bigger because we’re giving it so much attention. It’s like a fire; the more oil you put on it the more it burns.
Whether good thoughts or bad thoughts arise, the point is not to cling. Just let them go back into the space from which they arose. The thought comes up, we recognise it, and we release it, we don’t follow it. We don’t hit ourselves on the head with it. They’re just dark clouds arising in the sky, and they can just dissolve back into the sky again.
There’s no problem. Everybody has stupid thoughts. Everybody. Until we are completely egoless, Fully Enlightened, we will sometimes have really stupid negative thoughts. It really doesn’t matter as long as we recognise them and let them go.
DGL: Taking it back to basics, that’s also where our Shamatha practice becomes quite handy, isn’t it?
JTP: Yes, so that we can recognise it. That’s the whole point; we can see it.
DGL: And also recognise the reaction, that we’re thinking, “Oh, I shouldn’t be having that ugly thought. How ugly am I?” We can also recognise that…
JTP: … and laugh at it. Bad thoughts also don’t like you to laugh at them, you know? If you have any thoughts of fear, anger, lust or jealousy, if you just look at that thought and you laugh at it, it will just disappear. Because it takes itself very seriously, and if you’re not taking it seriously, it has nothing to stand on.
The whole point is not to get all upset about our negative thoughts, especially when we’re practising. But even during the day, if we recognise that thought, the moment of recognition is the moment of its release.
The Buddha said that clinging is cause of our suffering (dukkha). Even if we cling to good thoughts, any kind of clinging is the problem.
DGL: Thank you, Jetsunma-la. I think that’s a wonderful clarification, and a very good attitude to adopt, to be more light, and have that humour, to laugh at the thoughts and not take ourselves too seriously.
“There comes a point in practicing and studying when there is no way to proceed further if there is no money. Then, we need to get paid work for some time, but it seems this will harm the Dharma practice. How can we find the balance?”
JTP: Of course we can work and practice at the same time. What do you think Dharma practice is? It’s not just sittin’ on our cushion. There are many qualities needed on the path to Enlightenment, including mindfulness, ethics, kindness, patience and goodwill. These qualities are enhanced and cultivated in the company of other people, including difficult people.
If we cannot maintain our ability to be aware and kind while we are working, then what’s the use? The Dharma should be at the centre of our lives at all times, whether in formal practice or out in the world. We should especially cultivate loving awareness at all times and in all situations.
Please don’t think of work as being detrimental to our practice. If we do it with good heart and mindfulness, it is the practice.
DGL: That’s beautiful, practical advice as always, Jetsunma-la. I think people have a hard time believing that we can actually do it. But I really do think it’s possible; there are so many scenarios in “real life”, as people like to call it, where we have so many opportunities to put what we’ve learned into action when facing challenges.
JTP: What interests me is what is “real life”? I mean, what do they think? That living outside of the West and outside of a city is not real? Why is it less real than wherever you are? That’s where your mind is, so that’s your reality, isn’t it? I mean, why is being in the hustle and bustle, watching television all the time and going to parties “real life,” whereas sitting quietly reading a Dharma book and meditating is not real? Isn’t that a weird expression, “real life”?
DGL: It is. Absolutely. I totally agree with you, Jetsunma-la. It’s kind of bizarre to have that separation. Right now I’m here in a retreat, this is not “real life.”
JTP: It’s more real because you’re with your mind, whereas most people are in an escape mode, either looking at their computers or looking at television or just gossiping around. The one place they are not looking is where the only reality actually abides, which is in within one’s own mind.
We’re all trying desperately to escape from looking at the one place where reality actually resides. Ironic.
DGL: It is indeed, perhaps a symptom of modern times. But I think with your precious advice based on all these techniques that come from thousands of years ago, verified by so many practitioners, that we definitely have a starting point to work with and make friends with our minds.
JTP: Well, it’s the only thing we’re going to take with us, so we better get to work on it now, right? Everything else we leave behind.
DGL: May we be able to do so, Jetsunma-la. If there’s been any merit, virtuous actions or positive potential that we created in this meeting could you please dedicate it for the benefit of others?
JTP: I think the world desperately needs as much lightness, kindness and good-heartedness as possible. We need to be courageous in a time when people are so afraid, so paranoid, so caught up in their fears. The Bodhisattva is fearless, and this is what we must all aspire to, the fearless heart of compassion and wisdom.
DGL: May it be. Thank you so much, Jetsunma-la.
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May All Beings Benefit
Sarva Mangalam